Im currently chatting with Zing..Althou shes nt a Christian..donno why..she seems ta understand wat im goin thru..

Althou Im a Christian, and althou I've started attending church service once agn, I still cant find my reason ta go church..Yea..its like a DUH~ answer tt goin ta church shd only be due ta 2 reasons..knowing more God and ta interact with otha fellow worshipers..

But one fact still remains..I've lost touch with God..as in...during church service..I jot down notes tt I dont quite understand...When all starts speaking in tongues..Im like urber quiet..I feel like Im nt goin ta church fer god..but fer someone else instead..I knw tt only praying can help..ta help me overcome this..but..Gah..I dont knw how ta go on...

As much as I wud love ta know more bout god, I just feel so uncomforatable in CHC.But dont be mistaken..the ppl there are like superbly nice..especially Sin Man..but..Im still cant find my reason in the place of the Lord...This prob has being hanging there fer like..since the first time i went there..I cried..cos I lost touch wif God..I prayed..but all these feeling still remains..

I feel tt Im too immature in handling these recent problems..

I feel so ashamed...All these yrs..Althou I dont attend church every single wk..I pray every night w/o fail..but I gt so dumbfounded when i told someone tt and tt someone replied me saying tt.. praying ta god shd nt be like a routine type of thing..it shd be done cos u really wanna talk ta god..and tt u wanna know more bout him and stuff....I didnt know wat ta reply...Even thou I've nv thot praying was like a routine kinda thingy...I chose ta keep mum..Dont knw why..When u start talkin bout god..I felt so ashamed..cos I dont even know the basic things like...how ta pray...
Well..I do pray at hm..but..in church..when everyone are like praying..I feel so tongue-tied.I feel so stressed up...

I really wanna know more bout God and wud love ta go church ta focus only on God...but I cant...I've thot of heading back ta NCC..cos maybe only at there.. I'll nt have the mindset of goin ta church fer anyone else...



Wherever I go..the path tt I choose will still lead to the same God...Dont you think?