My diary,my escape...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

How do I stop my tears from forming?

If only I can find a way to.

I feel so vulnerable at times.

Its like, my world is revolving solely around him.

Its crushing me.

I wanna be more independent.

Its like, his text, his phonecalls and his voice are my air to breathe.

I feel disgusted with myself that I cant be understanding enough that hes in army and thus, is unable to text or call as frequent as he wants to.

I need to stop being so demanding.

I need to stop crying.

I need to start solving problems on my own instead of telling him every single things/issues that have been happening from my day-to-day activities.

I need to stop giving up on this relationship. ( Sorry baby, I know I hurt you whenever I mention that.)

Lastly, I need to do some soul searching on why cant I stop being so childish at times and learn to cherish this man who God have arranged for us to meet.

Im sorry baby.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I miss my baby...

Baby's in KL now.
Damn it.

Urghs.

pouts.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

You know that I could use somebody.

Hey people, are you guys already in the X'mas mood already?
Almost every night when I turn left, I'll get to see Jewel Box tower lightings. Its really niceeee!

Work is doing okay I guess, but, but, job search is still in my daily routine.HAHA.
How should I explain myself on that? Hmmmms...
Lets just say that Company and almost 70% of the ppl that Im working with is f***ed up.Hows that? (:

Its like, theres this communication barrier I guess. Imagine for my current post, there has already been 11 people who've quit. Seriously, I CANT'T wait to leaveeee!

Okay, away from my work-work-life. Mama's menopause stage is increasing day by day.Im going nuts. I think very soon, I might have to get some help. It's like, I can no longer communicate with her. I dont know what to do. Ever since my bro moved out, Im like fighting this DAILY BATTLE alone. ( baby is like my 24/7 support, although he cant pysically be next to me, man, ILOVEHIM! (:
I really have no idea where to go from here. I just pray that I dont have to argue with my msms after one long day at work.You know, its really hard. Although it might sound damn easy to many, man, you guys dont know my mama. She aint the fiery type. She the 'mental' type=mind game freak. She likes to provoke me. Get it? My mama likes to provoke me! So unless I laugh alone with her when she provokes me, she wins when I get mad. Its really crazy...

Away from work and home. Guess what, Im having some bloody shit infection. Have to take antibiotics for 10 dayssss! ):

Hours without baby passes really slowly. I just cant wait to give him a big hug later!!!SMOOCHES! <3

bye people!

IMISSYOUZINGZING!!! <3